Exciting Disclaimer: Paramount owns these characters, I just put words in their mouths. This story depicts a loving relationship between two Women. In the word's of Jerry Seinfeld and George Costanza, "Not that there's anything wrong with that." If you're under 18 you should not be reading this, you should be working on your history homework, or filling out college applications or something! If you live in a place where it is illegal for two women to have a sexual relationship you should move...and let me know where that is so I don't go there by mistake. On with the story!
Code: T/7.
Rating: PG
Archiving: Please ask first!
Constructive feedback welcome.
Any feedback or other comments should be sent to sweetmariabug@cs.com
Note: This is just meant to be in fun. I told Rachel I'd write a story over Spring Break…and well keeping my promise seemed the honoUrable thing to do. But then I started to panic when I couldn't think of a single idea that I hadn't already read. So this is my way of paying homage to all the great writers on this list, who continually amaze me with their creativity and speed at posting
Ps: I love “The Golden Age” story…honest!
Walk this way!
31 May 2001
"Well, frankly ladies…I'm at a loss!" You could hear the frustration in the Captains voice. "I just don't know what to do or what to say anymore."
Her two most brilliant officers were standing in her ready room….yet again, both looking rather pitiful. B'Elanna was shuffling her feet staring down at the carpet as if it had the most intriguing pattern she'd ever seen. ‘How many times have we seen that?' Kathryn thought. Seven was being Seven…almost. Her back was straight, hands clasped behind her back, but instead of looking straightforward or at the Captain she kept stealing glances at the chief engineer.
"I'm afraid I'll have to call in the big guns."
This got two heads to shoot up and look the Captain in the eye, "You can't be serious Captain!" B'Elanna got out first. Seven's protest followed closely, "Is that really necessary?"
"I don't see that you've left me any other choice. This is a B/7 list and you two just haven't been cooperating."
With that said Kathryn opened up her desk drawer, "let's see…I know I put it in here somewhere." She was somewhat mumbling to her self, but both B'Elanna and Seven became curious. Kathryn started empting said contents onto her desk, and both ladies were quite surprised that their prime and proper captain had a junk drawer. Out came the Star Fleet manual first…covered in dust. The next book didn't surprise either one of them… "101 Ways to Break the Prime Directive, and Not Get Caught". There was a book on the life and times of Juan Valdez, plus all the usual junk drawer requirements: an empty tape dispenser, a sticky rubber band, a takeout menu, a few nails and a wad of string.
At last the captain broke their revere, "Aahh, here it is!" She pulled out a small devise. It was a three-inch by three-inch little black box (that's 7.5cm for the rest of the world).
"Captain, is that what I think it is?" B'Elanna asked.
"The flight recorder that never gets destroyed when a ship crashes?" Kathryn looked up to confirm that that is what B'Elanna had meant, "No. You see this big red button? When I push it you know who will be summoned." To the protesting groans of her two officers, Kathryn pushed the button… and nothing happened. B'Elanna carefully opened her eyes and scanned the room when she didn't hear the usual fanfare, "Did you do it right?"
"Well of course I did…it's a button, there's only one way to push it!" With that said…she pushed it again. Still nothing. Finally, Kathryn Janeway, scientist, explorer and Captain of the USS Star Ship Voyager was reduced to shouting out, "Q, where the hell are you?" In a flash Q was standing before them.
"Oh, Katie I see you've finally come to your senses. At long last you have called for me! Shouting from the proverbial roof tops, beckoning me to your side."
"The button didn't work Q, I had to shout!"
"Oh, right…I forgot I designed it that way. Well, Kathy what's up?"
"Well, the writer of this little ditty is totally stumped. She…Aaahh IT IS A SHE, RIGHT? {Of course I'm a ‘she'…look at my name!} Yes of course sorry, well SHE is trying to think of how to of put our favorite pair here together in a way that hasn't been done before."
"Oh Katie you do like to challenge me, don't you? Well, let's see…. why don't I just make them fall head over heels in love with each other!"
"No, no, no Q…you can't just put them together like that! We need the build up… You know, romance!"
B'Elanna spoke up at this point, "ahh, excuse me…we're in the room you know. Can you not talk about us like were not even here!"
"Sorry B'Elanna but you've been left to your own devices for seven long years and all it's gotten you is married and knocked up by Ensign ‘Helm-rat'."
"Hey, don't blame me, talk to the writers at Paramount!"
"Excuse me, but do I get a say in this?" Seven asked.
"No!" was her simultaneous answer from the Captain and Q.
"Now, where was I? Well how hard can it be to get these two together? I mean look at them, there's so much sexual tension between them you could power the warp core with it all the way back to earth!"
At this declaration both Seven and B'Elanna turned to examine the other. B'Elanna didn't know what Q was talking about. Sure she's gorgeous, with a body to die for…. and so what if she's brilliant, with a dry wit that makes me laugh sometimes and is the most incredible…well what ever, ‘I refuse to be manipulated!' thought the fiery, but defiantly not stocky Klingon.
Seven hadn't been surprised by Q's little speech, she had realized her love for the compact, not stocky, Klingon precisely one year, and 47 days ago. She'd just been waiting for the olive skinned, AND NOT STOCKY, Klingon to notice her.
"I've got it….let's put them in a shuttle and crash land them on some planet. They'll run into all sorts of plot devises and fall madly in love by the end!"
"Did you not read ‘She Who Hesitates,' it is a classic!" Seven spoke up tentatively.
Janeway came back with, "Or what about ‘Out in Thirty Days,' that's what got me hooked on the whole B/7 genre."
"Fine, how about a nice dream sequence? It worked so well in ‘Dallas'."
"Ya, it also worked well in ‘Taking Command', by X."
"Well, who really needs a plot…let's just stick um in a room and make them have sex!"
This got B'Elanna's attention. Janeway actually stepped in between the two women blocking B'Elanna's view, earning a scowl from the feisty chief.
"I believe Wyld's covered that territory rather nicely with ‘Flesh For Fantasy'…especially considering he's just a man!" (j/k)
"All right, I'll put them in close quarters together and..."
"You mean like in ‘Chained Melody' or ‘logs'?"
"Well, I was thinking more along the lines of say a Jeffries tube or …"
"Don't even say it!"
"…a turbolift."
"Q, where have you been? Thanks to Rachel's fetish that's a whole sub category. We have turbolift stories coming out of our…"
"Well, that should tell you how popular they are then."
"I've got an Idea." as B'Elanna said this the other three pairs of eyes in the room looked at her with something akin to shock.
"What, I can't be a romantic? How about we go back in time, are not really ourselves…but we are..kinda and dress up as pirates and sail the high seas as mercenaries hired for good!"
"Nahh," all three shook their heads in unison.
"Uber out of your mind!" as soon as Q said this he let out a fit of giggles.
"Wait a minute, what about Tom?" B'Elanna asked.
"Do you care?"
"No…but I mean I am married to him, well in some of the stories anyway. And I think I'm even pregnant half the time!"
"Well, here we do have options…we can kill him off of course. But then do we have a grieving widow jump into bed with Seven right away? We don't want to offend the readers."
"I don't think we have to worry about that."
"Right, well there's always the ‘Unfaithful Tom'. He's pretty popular. Although the ‘Asshole Tom' seems to be everybody's favorite. He generally adds some tension and then of course there's the joy of hurting him."
"Speaking of ‘Arsehole Tom' has Rachel finished ‘Appreciating Paris' yet?"
"Don't ask!"
"Hey, don't forget the ‘Friend Tom'." Everybody gave B'Elanna the stink eye for suggesting that one.
"Well, he is the father of my child….sometimes."
"Let's get back to how the couple goes from animosity to amours, shall we? We can worry about ‘rat boy' later. Now mind you, I'm just spit-balling here…strip poker?
"Been done."
"Intoxication?"
"Done."
"I meant B'Elanna?!"
"Done."
"Singing?"
"Done." "I meant B'Elanna?!
"Done."
"Monsters?"
"Done."
"I mean real monsters?!"
"Done."
"Shore Leave?"
"Done."
"Sleep walking"
"Done."
"Alien abduction?"
"Done."
"Disability?"
"Done."
"Temporal anomalies?"
"So done!"
"Billiards?" "Done."
"Nightmares?"
"Done."
"Match making?"
"Done."
"What about having them be re-introduced to each other after some memory loss and..."
"Its been done…or started at least, in both Bones' and Xakana's current stories."
"OoooKkkk, a shuttle.."
"You already said that!"
"No, I said a ‘shuttle crashes on a planet,' this idea is the close quarters of a shuttle, on an away mission!" Q thought he was the cleverest thing with this one.
It was B'Elanna who broke his bubble on this one, "You're forgetting a witty little tale by Kathryn called ‘Perfect Mates' (shameless plug…this story is archived).
"You read B/7, B'Elanna?" this was almost whispered by the woman who puts the 7 in B/7.
"Well…sometimes. When I'm bored. What's wrong with that?"
"Tell me B'Elanna, do you ever read J/T? Or Doc/7? Hhmm, no. How about J/7?" At the Captain's last pairing B'Elanna was ready to pounce.
"No, of course not!" she growled.
"Not even when you are bored?" The Captain didn't even try to keep the smugness out of her voice.
As the realization of this dawned on the svelte Klingon a smile began to spread across her face. She looked up to see a similar, albeit smaller one lighting up the face of everybody's favorite blonde.
"Aah, Captain," grabbing Seven's hand and heading for the door, "I think we can handle the problem on our own from this point on, thanks."
"I concur Captain, assuming the lieutenant and I are relieved of our current duty shifts for the next… say 47 hours."
As the happy couple exited the room they just had time to hear the Captain shout out, "Granted."
"Well Q…our work here is done! You can go now."
"Are you sure Katie? I could always stick around and we could watch."
Fade to Black
Defiantly NOT to be continued…I hate hanging off cliffs!